Of course, change is inevitable. We seem to prefer the safety and permanence of continuity.  This preference may very possibly derive from an intrinsic awareness of our basic needs; maybe from our inherent vulnerability; or maybe, it comes as the result of learned behaviors or expectations.  What is crucial to acknowledge is that in the end, when it comes to change, what is actually painful is not change itself but our resistance to change.

Resistance can be defined as our basic unwillingness to open up, let go, and immerse in what is now happening.  It is defending ourselves from what is being presented to us as “next” in our lives. We resist what may be happening for various reasons, but mainly we resist an event, a thought or a situation because we believe that what is happening should simply not be happening regardless of the normative or axiological framework we could be using to assess the situation.

Addressing and overcoming resistance can be learned.  If we are in a situation that is changing, the fact of the matter is that IT IS changing, leaving us with two basic options: to either resist or open up to the phenomenon. Interestingly enough, resisting contrives our awareness of the situation and naturally limits our options and understanding of what is happening, further complicating things for us. If, on the contrary, we open up –even if we do not prefer what is happening - our options expand, our understanding of the situation increases, and our ability to do something about it transforms dramatically.

Do you open up in difficult situations?